Life of Alex


REG: Those Nats have bled us white, the bastards. They’ve taken everything we had, and not just from us, from our fathers, and from our fathers’ fathers.

LORETTA: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers.

REG: Yeah.

LORETTA: And from our fathers’ fathers’ fathers’ fathers.

REG: Yeah. All right, Stan. Don’t labour the point. And what have they ever given us in return?!

XERXES: Council Tax frozen for seven years?

REG: What?

XERXES: Council Tax frozen for seven years.

REG: Oh. Yeah, yeah. They did give us that. Uh, that’s true. Yeah.

COMMANDO #3: And cutting the business rates.

LORETTA: Oh, yeah, the business rates, Reg.

REG: Yeah. All right. I’ll grant you the council tax freeze and cutting the business rate are two things that the Nats have done.

MATTHIAS: And the free university tuition.

REG: Well, yeah. Obviously the free university tuition. I mean, university education goes without saying, doesn’t it? But apart from the business rates, the council tax freeze, and free university tuition–

COMMANDO: Provided an extra £20million to combat the bedroom tax .

XERXES: Raised smoking age to 18.

COMMANDO #1: Increased foreign aid.

COMMANDOS: Huh? Heh? Huh…

COMMANDO #2: Provided the HPV vaccine for teenage girls.


REG: Yeah, yeah. All right. Fair enough.

COMMANDO #1: And the free prescriptions.

COMMANDOS: Oh, yes. Yeah…

FRANCIS: Yeah. Yeah, that’s something we’d really miss, Reg, if the Nats left. Huh.

COMMANDO: Investment in green energy.

LORETTA: 1000 more police officers and recorded crime at a 39 year low.

FRANCIS: Yeah, they certainly know how to keep order. Let’s face it. They’re the only ones who could in a place like this.

COMMANDOS: Hehh, heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh heh.

REG: All right, but apart from the council tax freeze, free prescriptions, free university tuition, business rates, public order, help with the bedroom tax, green energy, foreign aid and public health, what have the Nats ever done for us?

XERXES: Given us the opportunity to reinstate our country as an independent nation.

REG: Oh. Independence? Shut up!

And the original source is here

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: